Many, many, many, (many) people (and non-humans too, like monkeys, apes, crabs, Jeremy) have asked me to list some of my pearls of wisdom. I am often getting quoted in and around the monkestry as I am so smart and my thoughts seem to travel to the depths of people’s (and crab’s) souls. So, here you go!
Feel free to quote these tidbits of hope as you keep your mind/life/heart on its journey towards completeness. If you are publishing those mini-books you see at the checkout full of Confucius, Einstein, Meg Ryan, and Forrest Gump quotes, feel free to add mine (and pay me royalties, of course!)
When you feel hopeless:
Each day has the potential to be a day.
When you desire a soul mate:
Love is just a chemical reaction in your brain – get over it.
When you feel you have lost direction:
Readeth a map.
When your passion is gone:
Light the fires of your heart, but don’t use real fire as that will hurt and kill you and then your passion really WILL be gone.
When you struggle putting one foot in front of the other:
Rollerskates may get thee there quicker, especially if thy maid hath coated the floor in oil slick.
When the Lord closes a door:
Open the door.
When the world is closing in on you:
Open the door all the way and put a doorstop under it so it doesn’t slam shut in the wind and give you a bit of a shock.
When you feel friendless:
Spend time with yourself, look after yourself, care for yourself, love yourself, and then you won’t NEED any friends.
When you have no one to talk to:
Sending emails to strangers may provide the brightest of sparks within the heart – if you stick a knife in the power point as you do it.
Amen.
Great soup for the soul quotes, Monk Monkey!! I’ve missed your blog, my friend! Especially love the picture at the end!
If these quotes help you through your time of need I will be happy! (And I’ll send you a bill.)
Heehee ok
When the Lord closes a door: Yell back, “WTF, man?! I’m helping you move to your new apartment and you slam the door? What is your problem?!”
Apparently if he closes a door, he’ll open a window, so start moving his coffee table and stuff through there. Then, if anything gets scratched or dropped you can just say well what do you expect? You’re the one who shut the dang door!!!
Amen.
Or hire professional movers. Cheapskate. Supposedly, he’s got a throne of gold, but can’t scrape together enough to hire some guys from Bekins? Give me a break, God.
TELL ME ABOUT IT!!!
‘Readeth a map.’
I knew I’m being ridiculous spending all that money on therapy! *off to… err… the map shop?*
Do it! They have some AMAZING maps there!
And charts!
Wonderful pearls of wisdom, Monk Monkey!
LOL on opening the door when the Lord closes it. heehee
I will light the fires of my heart with real fire, because I am a hero: http://breezybooksblog.wordpress.com/2012/10/30/i-wish-i-were-a-hero/
Btw – awesome picture. Is that a view from the Monkestry?
It’s the view from your soul after following my wisdom.
Will check that link later dude off o work!
Fire will warm your heart, and other vital organs as well.
Haha you should rename yourself GuruWorm!
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