Introducing the troop

So, seeing as we’re (we are) all new here (he are), I thought I should spend some time introducing everyone (you guys over there) to everyone (us guys over he’re).

President and resident monk: Monk Monkey
I need no introduction but if you want to read my introduction, visit the About Monk Monkey page. There you can read my introduction that introduces me.

Door lady: Doris
She’s the one you saw sitting at that little table near the door when you came in. She is really important if you need to know the way to the toiley (toilet).

MC and DJ: Daphne X
Daphne X has been DJing for almost two weeks and she is getting better and better. You should see the crowd go off whenever the God Save the Queen medly comes on! Also does a great job hosting bingo on Tuesdays and announcing raffle winners.
Cleaner: Desmond
Just stay out of his way and you’ll (you will) be fine. He is good at what he does. He smells a bit and needs to be given a wide berth but we love him. Please also remember to ‘hold it’ each day between 10 and 11 while Des cleans the toiley.
Tea and biscuits: Carol
Iced Vovos taste delicious, but especially when you see them presented on a plate like Carol can! Oh, and her scones are to die for! We would all be a lot more depressed (and thinner – ha ha!) if the lovely Carol ever left us!
Miscellaneous: Jeremy
Were (we’re) not really sure who he is or what he does here, but Jeremy never leaves and he seems nice enough so we’ve (weave) decided to keep him.

So there you have it! Feel free to drop by sometime and see the gang! We’d (wee’d) love to meet you!


27 thoughts on “Introducing the troop

  1. Doris tried to charge me $20 to find out how to get to the toiley. Desmond walked in on me when I was using the toiley. Jeremy gave me a scone and wiped away my tears from the toiley incident. He’s ok, but this place is bananas. Speaking of which, who’s in charge of bananas around here?

    • I was so sorry to here of your terrible day over here. Due to your glowing report I have decided to take the job of looking after the bananas away from Doris and giving it to Jeremy. Doris has also received a forml warning for charging to use the toiley.
      Lastly, hahahahahaaaaa!

  2. Is this place open at this time of the day? I came to see Doris. I brought a pizza with hot dogs, mayonnaise, shrimp tempura, and squid for her. I feel bad that she was given a reprimand yesterday and lost her banana gig. Also, please look into Doris’ background. If she’s really Chainsaw Darrell, I suspect you’ll be looking for a new toiley overseer.

    • Hello, come in! We are open for another twenty minutes. Doris doesn’t want to see you but she’s asked you to leave the pizza in the kitchen and she’ll pick it up later. I feel so bad about all of this. I hired someone who I thought was nice that ended up being mean, cantankerous, and possibly a murderer. Oh, and I rang Susan Hunter to look into Doris’s past but she hasn’t returned my call. Playing racquetball with Bill, I expect.

  3. Pingback: A poem by Jeremy | Monk Monkey

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    • Oooooooh!!!! That’s were you are! I was wondering! Doris said it was a rat scratching around! I’ll come and get you out. You missed teambuilding, Monk Monkey soup and the coconut rumba – can’t wait to get you, clean you up and tell you all about it!

      • You are a peach. Thank you so much for the moist towelettes to wash my grime away. I swear, if I have to hear Helen Reddy sing Candle on the Water one more time … !! That basement was torture. But there’s still something about Doris I kind of like.

        Seriously, sweetie, I’ve been so busy, I can barely think straight. Been to Mom’s a few times and had her to the doctor yesterday. She’s feeling better, and he finally (!) gave her something for pain. I was ready to ask my kid to score her some oxy on the street if the doctor wouldn’t have come through for her.

        I’m making massive marketing plans for my Susan Hunter books, I’m trying to resurrect my used book business, and I’m writing the new book. There are simply not enough hours in the day. I’ve been afraid to read blogs at all for fear I’d get sucked in and lose too much time. I need a little break though, and am starting with you, dear Monk Monkey, to see what’s going on. It killed me to see you had new post(s) and not be able to run over and see what was happening. I saw the picture of you reading to the kids in the library … and I saved it to my computer. It’s a really fun picture. Ok, enough babble! I’m off to see what’s been happening here at the Monkestry. xoxoxoxo

        • Bestest comment ever! Good luck with all your work, hope you mum is good, and HA at that photo! Thanks for dropping by we have missed you but don’t worry – you are allowed to have a life!

  5. Pingback: In which we have a visit from Jen (& Tonic) | Monk Monkey

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