I feel (in my bosom) a real need (that’s need, not knead – I’m not feeling a kneading feeling in my bosom, it’s not a heart attack don’t worry) to inform (not outform) you (you) that little did you know (I assume) but the Earth (this planet in case you didn’t know) is pure evil.
Why is this so? Well, besides the fact that Earth (this planet) murdered Beethoven and gave Ghandi a distinctly bald head (both of these things are unfair and unwarranted), but also because it gave birth (in its bosom) to all the evil things that ever (and never) existed! On top of this, if the Earth kept rotating around and around, faster and faster, we would all fly off into space and never (ever) return (enter if you are not using a Mac).
So beware yon earthling! Cringe and beware! Your mother planet is trying to kill you! And your grandmothers!!!