Presto changeo day

The monkestry reeeeallly needed a shake up this week. This is what I did – I put everyone’s name in a hat and threw it off a bridge. Then I listed everyone’s duties in a column on a whiteboard with their names alongside that in another column. Next, I drew lines connecting each person to a different occupation.
For 24 hours, everyone had a new duty to perform. Did it force people to change, react, adapt and so on? Find out for yourself… (I’m too lazy to tell you.)

Clean the toiley
Daphne (formerly done by Des)
Daphne did an amazing job. The toiley was cleaned with a variety of fragrant detergents regularly through the day. In fact, every time I had finished with it, Daphne was immediately in after me, scrubbing away inside the bowl. To use the toiley, one had to move the decorative ribbons to one side, but I didn’t mind. She even put the spare toilet roll under this crochet ballerina thing which, quite frankly, I approved of.

Des (formerly Doris)
This endeavour was less successful. I mean, Des means well and it started OK, but my office was regularly swamped with people wanting a hand out. In the middle of Vespers I even had to stop my prayers when the noise of an old swagman snoring in a pew became too much. As annoying and hated as Doris’s strict entrance policy is, it was shown to be much better than this lax option. I’m still missing my stapler.

Doris (formerly Daphne)
This week’s disco sucked. Doris had not done any preparation, and when it was time to get our groove on, she just stood on stage, claimed she didn’t know how to use the sound system (I have shown her numerous times), and walked off. We were left hanging. My shiny purple pants that I wear under my robe each week were totally wasted.

Sit in the corner and mope
Jeremy (formerly Jeremy)
I have to explain why Jeremy didn’t get to swap jobs. He didn’t come to the staff meeting, for one thing. For another, he didn’t pay me any attention whatsoever after I called his name repeatedly and tapped him on the shoulder. He smelled a bit. If he has decided just to let himself go, then fine – I don’t need to interact with him. Wake up to yourself, Jeremy, wake up.

Amen, brother.


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