I eat spiders

Well actually, no I don’t
I said that so that you might read
This story about a pig
A hopeful pig, a strong-willed pig,
A pig who’s life’s an adventure
It’s quite a story but it needed
A snappy, catchy title.

So, one day Barry
(‘Twas piggy’s name)
Was walking slow he tarry
Once again along the way towards the butcher’s door
Come on you dolt said other pigs
Hurry up you loser
If you’re last you may not get
The bacon they said was here.


* No, dear reader, I wasn’t drunk when I wrote this but I was sleep-deprived. I wrote it early one morning in the dark and I only just found it again. Poem? Saga? Crazy? Brilliant? All of the above? I have no idea what is going on here. At all.



20 thoughts on “I eat spiders

  1. You are right I did come here to get some tips to cook spider and was wowed by the Brilliance that is this poem.. It’s like reading Einstein, Newton, Sherlock homes and Mandrake all together. This poem will benefit so many . Great work.

  2. If I were ever having another child, I would not send her to a school that didn’t make her memorize this poem.

    I’m not having any more children. That’s not a reflection on you, Barry, or my son.

  3. This just really fits in with the bacon crazy that is sweeping the nation. If it has gotten so far that pigs are basically eating themselves to enjoy the craze, well zombies have certainly taken a form, just not the form we expected!

    • Eats or accidentally swallows? There’s a big difference! I grind my teeth a bit so I feel sorry for the spiders here! In our backyard (patio) we get a lot of these spiders that build houses in their webs with leaves do you have them? I leave them alone I love them almost as much as the plovers (misunderstood birds) round here.

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