I eat spiders

Well actually, no I don’t
I said that so that you might read
This story about a pig
A hopeful pig, a strong-willed pig,
A pig who’s life’s an adventure
It’s quite a story but it needed
A snappy, catchy title.

So, one day Barry
(‘Twas piggy’s name)
Was walking slow he tarry
Once again along the way towards the butcher’s door
Come on you dolt said other pigs
Hurry up you loser
If you’re last you may not get
The bacon they said was here.


* No, dear reader, I wasn’t drunk when I wrote this but I was sleep-deprived. I wrote it early one morning in the dark and I only just found it again. Poem? Saga? Crazy? Brilliant? All of the above? I have no idea what is going on here. At all.



Coconut rumba

Daphne was feeling a little sad.
“How come you never let me talk stuff on your blog?” she asked.
I had no answer, so here is her recipe for the Coconut Rumba. Enjoy.

Glass (to serve)
Servant (to serve glass)

Method: (Sung to the tune of Candle on the Water.)
1) First take your coconut and wateeeeerrrrrr.
Yes I know it wasn’t there.
Within the list (of ingredients),
But it’s simple – pour it,
From a tap, or gather from a well.

2) Now mix your coconut and wateeeeerrrrrr.
Pour it all into your glass.
Then add the rum, on top, too,
Add some ice to chill it,
Then there’s only one more step to learn.

3) Don’t add another drop of wateeeeerrrrrr.
Just a twist of cooked bacon.
Drop it in the Rumba,
Don’t sing Chumbawumba,
Now it’s done, your servant starts to serve.

Enjoy your Rum, C-nut and wateeerrrrrrr!

Could you tell what Daphne's all time favourite movie is?

Could you tell what Daphne’s all time favourite movie is?